It’s unrealistic to think that you will never have pain. As your body’s protection mechanism, its hardwired into the brain. It’s there to keep you safe. Pain will occur whenever your brain detects a potential threat. Feeling pain is beneficial in these situations as it alerts us to something being wrong, whether that’s a broken bone or a burn from a fire. This type of pain is useful as it alerts you to damage, so you respond accordingly.
We know from science that the way we experience pain is complex. The degree of pain felt and the actual amount of tissue damage rarely match; this is because pain depends on so many things. Think of when you stub your toe. It hurts a lot, but there isn’t actually any damage to the tissue, it just feels like there is!
Suffering is different to pain. It can be described as the thought processes you have around the pain you’re feeling. It depends on the things that you tell yourself about pain. You won’t necessarily realise it, but there will be a set of rules and reasons you have around pain. For example, ‘When I’m tired, my pain is worse’ or, ‘When I bend down to put my shoes on, I always get pain’. Our minds are forever searching for patterns and explanations – including with pain.
Trying to avoid pain means that you change your behaviour or restrict yourself in some way, all in an effort to control what you feel. But attempting to control what can’t always be controlled will lead to problems. As you struggle to avoid your pain, your life becomes smaller and smaller. You might stop socialising or attending groups, stop working or reduce involvement in any activity that you believe aggravates your pain. The more you struggle trying to fix things, the more you will suffer.
Part of the therapy work I do is to unpick the physical pain feelings that we know to be true. We also un-pick your thoughts and what your mind is telling you is true. We’ll search through all your rules and reasons behind how you experience pain and discuss their impact on your life.
Remember, pain is the sensation you feel, and suffering is the way your mind responds to that pain. Once you have gained insight into your pain and your suffering, we’ll be able to make changes. These changes will be made in a way that feels safe and secure. Over time, your mind will learn how your pain and suffering differ – and how suffering reduces as awareness increases. With that awareness in place, tackling the pain itself becomes much simpler.
As The Mind & Body Guide, my approach to therapy is to help you to understand yourself mentally andphysically.
I have decades of experience in health care, including years spent working as a senior physiotherapist in the NHS. I’ve taught Pilates to hundreds of people. And I’m a qualified psychotherapist with a suite of therapy skills to draw on.
By working together, we can plot your pathway to a healthier, happier life.
