Do you have a little voice in your head that you can hear loud and clear when anxiety sets in? It can be so negative and destructive that eventually you believe this voice to be speaking the truth. The consequences of this ‘truth’ are that it affects how you behave. It can be responsible for you changing your mind and missing out on opportunities that ordinarily you would have taken. This is all because the voice of worry stops you in fear of what might happen. It can be easier and safer to believe in your negative belief systems, rather than challenge them.
Remember that anxiety is the fear of what might happen in the future and what might or might not happen, it isn’t what is happening right now. It’s the fear of not having any control of the future.
Listening to the chatter in your head can make you avoid things and end up in you feeling bad about yourself. This commotion sends you into what I call ‘the cycle of suffering’. The longer you hold onto your worries, the heavier they will become. Eventually these worries might translate to feelings in the body, and they become debilitating. Only by facing your worries and fears can you find your way out of this cycle.
A good place to start is by observing yourself, which is something we rarely do. Perhaps observe what you do when you’re avoiding something. What happens to your body posture, breathing and tension. How does the avoidance make you feel in your body from a dry mouth, to tingling and butterflies in the stomach or maybe a worsening of joint pains.
Becoming curious about what is happening inside your body when the voice of worry appears is the start of facing the fear. Once you start to become aware of the thoughts that appear and bodily changes you observe the process of self-awareness begins. You can choose to name it and begin to unpack what is behind it.
If you can wait and stay with the feelings and thoughts, you’ll likely shorten the time they stay with you. It’s about becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. As you stay with it you can choose how to react: do nothing, avoid or in a direction that will take you to where you want to be. You always have a choice.
Try saying to yourself (inserting your name), ‘I know I can’t control the future’. Some people find these mantras helpful and by including your name makes it more meaningful.
Remember that anxiety is the fear of what might happen in the future, it isn’t what is happening right now. Change is possible.
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As The Mind & Body Guide, my aim is to explore these connections to help you gain insight into yourself. This could be looking at present problems or those that are more deeply seated: things you’ve been told or events you’ve experienced which have shaped who you are now.
I have decades of experience in health care. Years spent working as a senior physiotherapist in the NHS. I’ve taught Pilates to hundreds of people. And I’m a qualified psychotherapist with a suite of therapy skills to draw on.
My approach to therapy is to help you to understand yourself mentally and physically. Then, working together, we can plot your pathway to a healthier, happier life.
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