When it’s a sunny day outside can you imagine warm sunlight on your skin? How about any deeper sensations that the promise of warmth brings. Perhaps feelings of contentment and calm?
In Manchester, where I live, it rains a lot! We spend so much time discussing the weather, I’m now acutely aware of subtle seasonal changes, from the spring buds on cherry trees to the first frosts of winter. Unfortunately, not many of us ever consider our internal weather system. However, it’s well worth paying attention to your own emotional forecast.
An emotion comes from an external or internal stimulus. For example, if you are in a restaurant and trying to get the waiter’s attention but they deliberately ignore you. This leads to increased levels of annoyance and frustration. Conversely, if you are greeted by a smiling waiter, you’ll likely feel happier-and probably enjoy your meal more than if an inattentive waiter had served you. This is a great example of how our emotions can be triggered by something outside of the body.
Interestingly, emotions don’t usually last a long time. If we take the example of the waiter ignoring you and the feelings it evoked, how quickly would these frustrated feelings subside when the attentive waiter took over?
There are also internal stimuli causing emotions. You might feel hunger and be irritable from a drop in your blood sugar. Being able to recognise these feelings and connect with the subtle change in emotions is a skill we can learn. For example, you might be feeling irritable, but not have connected this to the fact you’re hungry.
There are three key skills to learn when developing emotional awareness.
Firstly, learning to recognise emotion in yourself and others. It’s a very easy thing to misinterpret. Think about seeing someone with tears streaming down their cheeks. Are they tears of relief of disbelief? If you are feeling anger, is it towards someone else or really yourself?
Are you always able to recognise what has caused you to feel a certain way? Looking inwardly and thinking about how recent experiences might have affected you can help this process.
Internal triggers for emotion could be insomnia or a stressful relationship. These emotions show up in the body, but we aren’t always tuned into the reasons why they might be there.
Secondly, are you aware of any physical symptoms in your body? A physical symptom like pain will affect your emotions. Your emotions will then affect your interaction with those around you. Understanding these emotions is often confusing and difficult to navigate.
Physical symptoms can also be a sign of suppressed emotions. This could be because you are avoiding dealing with something- perhaps because you feel overwhelmed and don’t know what action to take. It’s commonplace to ignore things and hope the feelings will just go away.
Thirdly is developing your emotional vocabulary so you’re able to name the exact emotion. Often finding the words to express feelings is a struggle. Especially because, when suffering, you can become disconnected. This could be suppressing the thoughts in your head, suppressing emotions and ignoring physical symptoms.
When they lack these insights, people often use medication or alcohol to numb the symptoms or distract themselves to avoid facing what’s inside. This only helps in the short term.
Processing emotions doesn’t happen by just thinking about it – it is a skill you learn. As the Mind and Body Guide I work with the bottom-up approaches (body to brain) and the top-down approaches (brain to body).
Together, we learn to build emotional health alongside a healthy body and mind. This isn’t a short-term fix or a one-off exercise in positive thinking. It’s about building an understanding yourself. This helps you to take back control and begin to create the rich and meaningful life that you want to live.
As The Mind & Body Guide, my approach to therapy is to help you to understand yourself mentally and physically.
I have decades of experience in health care, including years spent working as a senior physiotherapist in the NHS. I’ve taught Pilates to hundreds of people. And I’m a qualified psychotherapist with a suite of therapy skills to draw on.
By working together, we can plot your pathway to a healthier, happier life.
