Loneliness can be one of the worst things in life. Think of it as a feeling from your body that a connection is missing – usually that of the human kind. It’s when your social needs are not being met.
Social needs can be met by other people, such as family, friends, work colleagues or just passing small talk with a shop assistant at your supermarket. Even a smile or eye-contact with someone on the street is a connection. When you are connected through being in the presence of others, neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin are produced. They cascade out from the brain and through the body to bring feelings of warmth and comfort.
But when you’re lonely and isolated, these feel-good hormones aren’t produced. Instead, the stress-response hormone cortisol floods the body. Cortisol makes you feel vulnerable and unsafe.
Prolonged loneliness affects your sleep, digestion and susceptibility to pain. It compromises your immune system, making it difficult to ward off illnesses like the common cold.
Though it’s a physical feeling like the grumbling in your tummy when you are hungry, loneliness doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It’s simply the body’s way of signalling that you need to find connection with others.
Loneliness is not a mental health condition either. It’s a normal human emotion and something we all suffer with at some point in our lives. The good news is that, even though it feels awful to experience, there is always something you can do about loneliness.
If you think you’re feeling lonely, stop for a minute and listen to what your body might be telling you. Sometimes you might recognise this as your inner voice or intuition. Aim to be a kind supportive friend to yourself and accept that it’s natural to have painful emotions. This can stop you from being swept away with the strength of them. Next, see if you can take some steps to find a connection with others. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Maybe phoning a friend for a chat, even if you don’t feel comfortable sharing the way you are feeling.
With loneliness, small steps can have dramatic effects.
As The Mind & Body Guide, my aim is to explore these connections to help you gain insight into yourself. This could be looking at present problems or those that are more deeply seated: things you’ve been told or events you’ve experienced which have shaped who you are now.
I have decades of experience in health care. Years spent working as a senior physiotherapist in the NHS. I’ve taught Pilates to hundreds of people. And I’m a qualified psychotherapist with a suite of therapy skills to draw on.
My approach to therapy is to help you to understand yourself mentally and physically. Then, working together, we can plot your pathway to a healthier, happier life.
