Shame is often the unspoken emotion when I work with people who are in pain. Your body is constantly sensing what is going on inside and outside of you and this information is fed into the brain. After processing it, your brain decides what you will feel. It could be a range of emotions, but often shame sits alongside the pain.
Shame can feel different for each of us. It’s been described as a heaviness that’s pulls you down, a feeling of emptiness or like having a cavity in your chest. For others, shame makes them feel small or like having a shadow hanging over them. When feelings of shame become overwhelming it can bring on a kind of paralysis.
Shame feelings are produced when part of the brain called the amygdala is activated, it’s here where painful emotions are processed. When activated, the amygdala produces a flood of the stress hormones which cause the fight, flight or freeze response. This explains some of the emotions and reactions you might have when feeling shame: your brain is signalling ‘danger’ to the body.
The exact same danger signals are sent to the body when pain is experienced.
The emotions of pain and shame can become so intertwined that it’s often hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.
When you have pain that’s ongoing, it’s natural to feel frustrated and angry that it isn’t going away. Persistant pain can cause you to be frightened and anxious. Fear and anxiety are some of the emotions you might be open to talking about, but shame is less readily discussed. This is often because shame is a harder emotion to acknowledge, even to ourselves.
You might feel shame because you blame yourself for not managing your pain. Or you blame yourself for not being able to manage your stress, exercise or diet. Feelings of shame might arise because you aren’t being taken seriously – this can invalidate the severity of your pain and cause a flood of stress hormones. All this results in what I call ‘the cycle of suffering’.
As the mind and body guide, I help you make sense of the situation and show you how to safely re engage in meaningful life activities.I can help you build a set of skills which will enable you to develop an awareness of your bodies protection systems. This lets you to take action and lead the life that you want to live.
By working together, we can plot your pathway to a healthier, happier life.
