‘I’ve been searching for a way to heal myself, and I’ve found that kindness is the best way’.
Lady Gaga.
Have you ever noticed feeling happier after doing something kind for another person?
Being kind to others is also being kind to yourself. That’s because kindness helps bring a positive connection with other people and builds positive relationships. There is also a strong link with kindness and your values. Values are what define the essence of you; they are about the person you want to be. Showing kindness is behaving in a way that is aligned with your values. Over time, this builds self-esteem.
The warmth you feel when being kind (and being the recipient of kindness), is caused by a release of of the hormone oxytocin. Oxcytocin is also fondly called the ‘cuddle hormone’ as its links are with bonding and connection.
Interestingly, oxytocin is also known as a ‘cardioprotective hormone’. This is because it triggers the release of nitric oxide which dilates the blood vessels. When blood vessels are dilated there is a subsequent lowering of blood pressure. So, kindness is good for the heart and for reducing stress.
Most of us would agree that long-term stress can be very ageing; it brings visible tiredness and strain, which ages you both mentally and physically. But did you know that kindness can help to slow down the ageing process? Ageing is linked to the amount of free radicles and inflammation in your body. When kindness releases oxytocin into the blood stream, levels of free radicles and inflammation are reduced. The consequent calming effect on the body means that the ageing process actually slows down.
Kindness also leads to the feel-good hormone serotonin being released. This can also contribute to reducing pain. So, kindness is powerful in many ways beyond what we had previously thought. You might like to think of it as the body’s natural protector. Linking kindness and the pleasant feelings it creates makes kindness an obvious choice to support yourself when stressed or in pain.
Interestingly, witnessing kindness in others can have the same effect on you.
Sadly, the opposite is also true. So, if you are feeling lonely, in pain or anxious, avoid watching anything to trigger this further. Instead, choose something which has compassion. Something that’s about caring. In this way, you will turn on the ’kindness effect’, easing anxiety, reducing inflammation and turning the volume down on your pain.
Also, aim to include yourself in some sort of social connection, with people who show kindness. Developing relationships with these types of people will reduce stress and make you feel happier. You’ll soon find that kindness is contagious. Look around and you’ll see!
As The Mind & Body Guide, my approach to therapy is to help you to understand yourself mentally and physically.
I have decades of experience in health care, including years spent working as a senior physiotherapist in the NHS. I’ve taught Pilates to hundreds of people. And I’m a qualified psychotherapist with a suite of therapy skills to draw on.
By working together, we can plot your pathway to a healthier, happier life.
